In Their Own Words - Unedited

From a Porch to a Palace

About three years ago I lost my job due to the recession. Suddenly I was collecting unemployment and looking for a new job and no one was hiring. I always did pretty well by sustaining a stable home for myself and my son. Collecting unemployment and not working was something I was not used to. And to make matters worse, I got a letter from the State of Washington that due to budget cuts our unemployment benefits would be cut. With no job and no benefits, I lost everything – my home, car, I mean everything.

I was searching not only for a job, but I was applying everywhere to different shelters. I was fortunate to meet a woman who told me about Vision House, so I applied and got on their waiting list. Still, there were no openings anywhere. 

We moved to a small room that was the size of a closet, which was the only thing I could afford. And then the rent went up for that little room and I had no money to pay it. At that point we became homeless. There was an abandoned house nearby, so we lived on the back porch. I would stay up at night in the cold, watching over my son to keep him safe.

Feelings of despair washed over me and the spirit of heaviness was just overwhelming. I felt like I had failed my son. I knew it was hard on him. Sleeping outside on a cold porch was not something he was used to. My happy-go-lucky son was quiet and withdrawn. Never had I imagined that we would be in this position – I had worked my whole life. Being homeless took a lot from me. My self confidence was gone. I felt ashamed.

And then.....

A Life of Blessings After a Long Road of Drugs and Depression

By Rita

I have been blessed by God to live at Vision House.

My life is far from perfect, but I’m enjoying my new way of living.

I got involved with drugs in my early teens. But I was still able to attend school, receive good grades and work part time. After I graduated from high school, I got a job at an insurance company. During the 12 years I worked there I was promoted to an underwriting assistant – rating and issuing commercial insurance policies.

I got married and had a daughter. But my marriage was falling apart; my life was out of control. My drug use escalated to stronger drugs and I begin using them much more frequently. It finally got to the point where I lost my job, my family and my sanity. I was soon divorced; my ex-husband has custody of our daughter.

I went deeper and deeper down the dark road of depression. My debts were extremely high and so was I. I isolated myself from the people who loved and cared about me. I was ashamed of myself. I was disappointed that I couldn’t control my drug use or manage my life. I would cry rivers of tears because I felt so helpless, so doomed, so lost. I was bound by the shackles of addiction. I even went into two treatment centers but returned to drugs soon thereafter.

It didn’t take long for me to spiral further down into a miry pit of despair. I was homeless for several years. Then, when I thought things could get no worse, I discovered that I was pregnant. Seven and a half months into the pregnancy I lost the baby.

I was suffering from intense grief and was losing the fight against drugs. Nothing seemed to comfort me; even the drugs didn’t alleviate my pain anymore.

"Without a focus for your life, it's easy to lose your way"
By Paul

There are no "voc-tech" schools for being a good father and husband. And regardless of how good your parents were at providing for you, they have their own struggles and demons to deal with. I guess after high school I just assumed that if I stayed with my buddies and did what they did, I would be doing what I was supposed to do. Boy was I wrong!

It's not fun being arrested and thrown in jail for 21 days. And it's not fun being sent to mandatory detox for two weeks. Sure I was using heroin when I was busted but all my friends were too. We weren't criminals. We had a rock band and I owned a chimney cleaning business. I was a husband and a dad. We had smoked grass for years. Didn't everybody smoke grass? What's the big deal? We weren't hurting anybody.

My plan was to go through the first time offender program with its one-year of probation and counseling and then get back to business as usual. Come on, I wasn't doing anything wrong except I was the dumb one who got caught. My life was ok before. My wife had thrown me out for smoking pot seven years before my bust and my daughter, who was now 14, could still see me. It's not like I was incarcerated.

SUICIDE SOUNDED LIKE A GREAT OPTION
By Maria

I lost my job the week after 9/11. The phones stopped ringing at the motivational/educational consulting company where I worked. Everyone was laid off.

When my job went away, so did my husband leaving me to care for the two children ages 10 and 8. Unemployment wouldn't even cover the rent.

No one was hiring after 9/11. It was as if time stood still. But the bills just kept piling up.

I felt isolated and alone, depressed and not worthy as a mother. My neighbors would not talk to me any more because I was out of work and they weren't. I was angry with God for letting me get to this point in my life. Suicide sounded like a solution. In fact I was hospitalized because friends thought I might try it.

Vision House saved me. There is no question in my mind about that. Yes, I had medication, but medicine does not take away the "loser" image I had of myself. I thought I was not ok and everybody else was. I felt totally inept about caring for my children. And at this point I didn't care what happened to me.

Vision House showed me that all of us have problems that can be solved. My friends at Vision House shared their situations with me and I saw for the first time that everyone has to deal with many things in their lives. I was not alone and I was not different. I was not judged and I felt accepted.

Anne (Vision House Program Supervisor) helped me learn to plan for myself, my life and constantly encouraged me to work my plan. Anne taught me the importance of doing something nice for me, to understand that I was one of God's beautiful creatures.

I'm stronger now because of Vision House. I know what I have to do and I have a plan to make things work for me and my children. Currently I have two jobs and my kids are situated in a home and neighborhood that they love. I am confident that the Lord is looking over me and has been from the beginning. God led me to Vision House.

TO SAVE A CHILD

My name is Brittney and my story is really about God saving a child by leading me to Vision House. When I look back, there are just so many instances when you can see Him at work in my life.

I guess the beginning was the realization that I was having a baby and I was now responsible for the life of another. My life was a series of bad decisions. I was pregnant. I was not married. And my baby’s father was a drug addict.

I had no money. I was living with the baby’s father and all I could see was another ruined life that would be my fault. The guilt was unbearable. But I didn’t know what to do.

My doctor told me about Vision House. Can you believe that? Out of the blue he asked me how I was doing and I found a friend. He said that I was thinking clearly about the well being of the baby and that Vision House could help me.

I called Vision House and they sent me the application forms. But then I froze. It was the first of the hard choices that I had to make. To leave the baby’s father and be alone and pregnant was more than I thought I could do.

So I stayed where I was except now God took over. The message was clear and constant “Get Out”. I was afraid. But the message kept coming over and over. And then the struggling begin – me with myself. My fear against my guilt for staying. My anxiety level was almost crippling at times. I had no peace while I stayed there.

I NEVER IMAGINED

My name is Stacey and I never imagined that I would be homeless.

I have been a single mom raising my three daughters who are now ages 26, 20 and 15. I had done a pretty good job of it until a few years ago. I remember a friend telling me that it looked as though I had been doing a non-stop juggling act and complimented me on what a great job I had done without the help of a big support system.

This was before I dropped the balls….

I have learned first hand that all it takes are a few circumstances or events to occur at the same time and any one of us can end up without a roof over our heads, without an address, a home, or a phone number….

My circumstances were medical, financial and personal ALL at the same time. Specifically, one of the events that tipped me into homelessness was a relationship that began as a respectful and trusting living arrangement that turned into one of abuse and violence. I knew I had to get out of that situation for the safety of my youngest daughter and myself.

The combination of circumstances left me sleeping in my car between the time I went to work and the time to pick up my daughter from high school. We had the option of staying on someone’s floor temporarily in a city about an hour’s drive away, but I didn’t have enough money for gas to drive back and forth, so living in the car seemed like the best option.

MY CUSTOMERS DIDN’T KNOW By Marcie

I’m not sure you can always recognize a homeless mom. She may not be hanging out in all the stereotypical homeless places. On the corner begging for donations. Or sleeping in a downtown doorway. No, she can be the nice girl at Starbucks who greets you every time you stop in for your morning latte.

I’m not that old really but 25 feels like a lifetime. I had my first of two children at age 16 and my second daughter at 20. Suicide felt like a real option on more than one occasion.

My family was normal, so I thought. I had dreams about becoming a fashion designer. We lived modestly. My dad beat my mom and I stood up for her. He abused drugs and alcohol and whatever relationship I had with him passed the first time I called the Police and had him arrested. Before I left home for good he had gone to jail a total of 3 times.

I guess I rebelled, went my own way at 15 and tried to make a life. I was on my own basically. I had a baby and expenses and I was still in high school. I worked to pay for an apartment and friends helped with my daughter. I struggled but got a GED that I’m proud of.

But the pressure of bills, job layoffs, school loans, school supplies took their toll. It was impossible to keep up. I got married at 18 thinking that I could provide a home for my then 2 year old. But the marriage only lasted a couple of years. With all that was going on, the marriage didn’t have a chance.

Why me I would ask? Why is this happening to me? All I ever wanted was to be happy, to be a fashion designer and design my own line of clothes. That’s when I lost my way. When I lost my confidence I lost my hope and my dreams. Life was winning and I was falling to the side of the road.

I drifted from friend to friend with my daughter and new baby. We slept on floors and stayed until we were asked to leave. I didn’t want to live this way with my children but didn’t have any choice. My mom helped with the rent for a time until her money ran out. Jobs were scarce and design school supplies were just too expensive. I was trying to work full time, go to school full time and raise my daughters. I was living on the edge everyday.

Finally it happened. I was evicted from my apartment and had absolutely no where to go. No job. No food. And two daughters to take care of.

We found a homeless shelter but I couldn’t leave the kids there each morning to look for work. My school age daughter missed a lot of school. I was doing the best I could just to give them a roof and some food. Shelters can be scary places and no place for little kids. People wander in from all walks of life and the general rule is to be on watch all the time. I got very little sleep each night.

Someone told me about Vision House and the rest I will forever be thankful for. It is truly a place to call home. We have food and shelter but mostly we have love. I have a part time job at a prominent NW Business, my first daughter is in school and my little 5 year old will start school this fall. I am back in school now and my dreams are back stronger than ever.

The people at Vision House give you your confidence back. They are there for you no matter what. I never feel alone. Yes, I am independent and want to do for myself. And, Vision House let’s me be me. But I know deep inside that I would have never made it without the help and support of Vision House. They are giving me a chance at life I couldn’t get anywhere else.