Vision House

I’m not sure you can always recognize a homeless mom. She may not be hanging out in all the stereotypical homeless places. On the corner begging for donations. Or sleeping in a downtown doorway. No, she can be the nice girl at Starbucks who greets you every time you stop in for your morning latte.

I’m not that old really but 25 feels like a lifetime. I had my first of two children at age 16 and my second daughter at 20. Suicide felt like a real option on more than one occasion.

My family was normal, so I thought. I had dreams about becoming a fashion designer. We lived modestly. My dad beat my mom and I stood up for her. He abused drugs and alcohol and whatever relationship I had with him passed the first time I called the Police and had him arrested. Before I left home for good he had gone to jail a total of 3 times.

I guess I rebelled, went my own way at 15 and tried to make a life. I was on my own basically. I had a baby and expenses and I was still in high school. I worked to pay for an apartment and friends helped with my daughter. I struggled but got a GED that I’m proud of.

But the pressure of bills, job layoffs, school loans, school supplies took their toll. It was impossible to keep up. I got married at 18 thinking that I could provide a home for my then 2 year old. But the marriage only lasted a couple of years. With all that was going on, the marriage didn’t have a chance.

Why me I would ask? Why is this happening to me? All I ever wanted was to be happy, to be a fashion designer and design my own line of clothes. That’s when I lost my way. When I lost my confidence I lost my hope and my dreams. Life was winning and I was falling to the side of the road.

I drifted from friend to friend with my daughter and new baby. We slept on floors and stayed until we were asked to leave. I didn’t want to live this way with my children but didn’t have any choice. My mom helped with the rent for a time until her money ran out. Jobs were scarce and design school supplies were just too expensive. I was trying to work full time, go to school full time and raise my daughters. I was living on the edge everyday.

Finally it happened. I was evicted from my apartment and had absolutely no where to go. No job. No food. And two daughters to take care of.

We found a homeless shelter but I couldn’t leave the kids there each morning to look for work. My school age daughter missed a lot of school. I was doing the best I could just to give them a roof and some food. Shelters can be scary places and no place for little kids. People wander in from all walks of life and the general rule is to be on watch all the time. I got very little sleep each night.

Someone told me about Vision House and the rest I will forever be thankful for. It is truly a place to call home. We have food and shelter but mostly we have love. I have a part time job at a prominent NW Business, my first daughter is in school and my little 5 year old will start school this fall. I am back in school now and my dreams are back stronger than ever.

The people at Vision House give you your confidence back. They are there for you no matter what. I never feel alone. Yes, I am independent and want to do for myself. And, Vision House let’s me be me. But I know deep inside that I would have never made it without the help and support of Vision House. They are giving me a chance at life I couldn’t get anywhere else.

My name is Brooke. I’m a resident at Vision House and I’m here to tell you a little bit about myself and how I came to be here. I never thought my life would lead me where it did and never expected to be in this situation. Who does, I guess? But the scary thing is how easy it is to get here.

My dad died when I was 4 years old. He was the preacher of our local congregation and although I was only 4, I like to think I have fond memories of him and of my family as a whole. My mother did an excellent job raising us. I was normal girl. I went to college, I had good jobs. I have always gotten by without any consequence or inconvenience. If I ever got myself in over my head, there was always someone there to take care of it. Just like any other teenager, I started to party. Partying was social. Partying meant never having to be alone – there were always people around. People like my ex-husband. He found my weakness in telling me he loved me. I needed to hear that from a man. It was the biggest empty hole I had in me and he jumped right in to fill it. He loved me and couldn’t live without me. That was enough for me.

We were married 3 months later and I dove deeper and deeper into an addiction to cocaine and alcohol. He loved how dependant I was on him. He loved that I needed him to love me. He loved that I was a mess. He controlled my drugs, he controlled my friends, he controlled my life. I fell deep into despair and the using became out of control. I reached a point when I knew that something had to change or I would die. I prayed that night. I hadn’t prayed in a long time. I prayed that if there really was a God, that he help me to want to change. It sounded too hard. I was already so broken. Things got worse. I just knew there was no God because he didn’t answer my prayers. I can look back now and know for certain that there is a God and that he did hear my prayers. Things had to get worse to motivate me to change. I quit my job, my car broke down so I was completely dependant on him to go anywhere and the drugs got worse.

I finally wanted to change and I gained the courage to leave. I called my mom to come get me. I moved in with her and that was when I got clean and sober.

It wasn’t long before my husband vowed to change. He loved me and would do anything for me. I believed him. In retrospect I know that was stupid, but he was a master at playing on my heart strings. He knew what I needed to hear. I went back to him and I got pregnant. Did he change? No he didn’t. Surprise! But now, I was afraid. I couldn’t do it alone. I was terrified of being a single mother, I knew it wasn’t an option. So I ignored his behavior. I pretended it wasn’t happening. I continued to go to church and build my faith. The more involved I got in my church, the more resentful he became. He was jealous of my relationship with God – It freed me to love myself and gave me strength. He hated that.

The more I grew, and the lower he sank, the less I loved him. But I was afraid and I was also committed to being a good wife. I may not have loved him like I should, but I made a vow and I intended to keep it. Eventually I found out that he was not only hiding his own drug use, but he was selling drugs as well. He admitted this to me only after he had gotten in over his head and someone had threatened our family. I was furious, but I was also scared out of my mind and he convinced me that he could keep us safe if we left town. He wanted to change – he needed a fresh new start. He wanted to be the husband and father he never was. So we moved across the country in search of a fresh new start. We were both going to try. He was going to try to be a better man, and I was going to try to love him again.

It wasn’t a few weeks after getting there and getting settled into our new place that he went out and got drunk again. And for the next 4 months, I cannot express in words the agony I experienced. I hated him and I hated myself for believing in him. I was alone and missed my support system. The night I left was his birthday. He went out while I stayed home with our sick baby. A couple of days later, he came stumbling into the house, drunk and covered in blood. He had gotten into a fight and was looking for his gun. I was scared and asked him to leave and I could see in his eyes that he knew he was about to lose everything that mattered to him. I have never feared for my life in a real and tangible way before that night and I walked out with my baby and a suitcase.

A friend from my church was gracious enough to let us stay with her family until we could find other arrangements. We imposed on them for about 3 months until I got a call from another agency saying they had an opening. I went to sign the papers and left in tears. It was an emergency shelter. It was disgusting. There was a dirty, stained mattress on the living room floor to sleep on and that was about it. I cried that day like I have never cried before. This is where my life had brought me……..a happy girl from a happy church-going family……..never in need of anything – but not appreciative for what she had.

My phone rang later that day with a call from Vision House, offering me a home. I thank God every day for this organization. They’re an answer to my prayers. I moved into a beautiful home where my son and I could heal and bond and become a family. Vision House has offered us safety and security. We were welcomed with love and kindness and sensitivity.

Vision House has given me the opportunity to grow and heal and figure out who I am, and who I can become. I’m learning every day to love and forgive myself. My son is the best thing that ever happened to me and I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to grow not only as a person, but as a mother. I’m going back to school to be a nurse. I never would have had the confidence to do that before.

Recently, my car started breaking down and I was trying to figure out bus routes to get to school. It was going to take me almost 2 hours to get there! Then Vision House gave me a car. Someone had donated a car to Vision House and they gave it to me. Who does that?! Giving someone a car?! Again I cried, but this time not with fear and despair, but with a deep sense of gratitude and hope.

Vision House has provided so much for us. They provide not only the material things we need to live, but a support system full of caring, compassionate people and the ability to learn life skills that I never knew I needed. I don’t know what we would have done without them. Thank you for supporting Vision House; you will never know the full extent of my gratitude.

My name is Stacey and I never imagined that I would be homeless.

I have been a single mom raising my three daughters who are now ages 26, 20 and 15. I had done a pretty good job of it until a few years ago. I remember a friend telling me that it looked as though I had been doing a non-stop juggling act and complimented me on what a great job I had done without the help of a big support system.

This was before I dropped the balls….

I have learned first hand that all it takes are a few circumstances or events to occur at the same time and any one of us can end up without a roof over our heads, without an address, a home, or a phone number….

My circumstances were medical, financial and personal ALL at the same time. Specifically, one of the events that tipped me into homelessness was a relationship that began as a respectful and trusting living arrangement that turned into one of abuse and violence. I knew I had to get out of that situation for the safety of my youngest daughter and myself.

The combination of circumstances left me sleeping in my car between the time I went to work and the time to pick up my daughter from high school. We had the option of staying on someone’s floor temporarily in a city about an hour’s drive away, but I didn’t have enough money for gas to drive back and forth, so living in the car seemed like the best option.

So there I was…in between everything…trying to keep everything going…work, a kid in high school…with nothing stable outside of that.

Being without a phone number or address presents many problems…your child’s school cannot send information to you, possible employers or other opportunities can’t reach you either. But more important than falling off the communication grid, it’s the whole displacement of your daily routine. Instead of cooking dinner, you have drive-thru..…instead of going over homework at night, checking emails and getting ready for the day ahead, it’s going to the library, using a computer then looking in the trunk of the car for items needed for the next day.

When you become homeless, there’s a world of things you become aware of that were previously taken for granted. Phrases like “I’ll see you at home,” “call me at home,” or even “I’m headed home” all make you just want to cry. Still my daughter and I kept it up for as long as we could.

I was exhausted and I didn’t know where my help would come from, as I had been calling several shelters every day only to be told that there were no openings for us.

Then one day while I was working at a grocery store doing marketing research for my job, I bumped into someone who was a resident at Vision House. She had no idea of my circumstances and when I told her the brief version of it she gave me information about Vision House that literally changed my life.

The staff at Vision House are compassionate without being condescending. They not only provide my daughter and myself a place to call home but Vision House gives me the opportunity to get the medical and psychological care that I need. I’m also re-evaluating and re-establishing goals and confidence in myself. And while I’m not quite where I want to be, I am no longer where I used to be.

You know, as a parent it broke my heart to watch my teenager go through the regular stuff they go through, but the added stigma of being homeless was more than you can imagine. None of her friends knew that we were homeless during that difficult time. It’s just not something that you want to tell anyone……….and really no one wants to hear it.

That’s why I’m telling my story, even though it’s hard for me. But, I guess you wanted to know about it. You wanted to know if what you do for Vision House makes a difference……. I’m here to let you know that as you watch the news and see all the people in tents moving from one parking lot to the next, you can know that you helped keep some of them, people like me with children, from being one of them.

My name is Brittney and my story is really about God saving a child by leading me to Vision House. When I look back, there are just so many instances when you can see Him at work in my life.

I guess the beginning was the realization that I was having a baby and I was now responsible for the life of another. My life was a series of bad decisions. I was pregnant. I was not married. And my baby’s father was a drug addict.

I had no money. I was living with the baby’s father and all I could see was another ruined life that would be my fault. The guilt was unbearable. But I didn’t know what to do.

My doctor told me about Vision House. Can you believe that? Out of the blue he asked me how I was doing and I found a friend. He said that I was thinking clearly about the well being of the baby and that Vision House could help me.

I called Vision House and they sent me the application forms. But then I froze. It was the first of the hard choices that I had to make. To leave the baby’s father and be alone and pregnant was more than I thought I could do.

So I stayed where I was except now God took over. The message was clear and constant “Get Out”. I was afraid. But the message kept coming over and over. And then the struggling begin – me with myself. My fear against my guilt for staying. My anxiety level was almost crippling at times. I had no peace while I stayed there.

I filled out the forms and sent them back to Vision House. They called me and I went for an interview with Anne Snook. I still had not made up my mind to leave my baby’s father but I knew God was pushing me to Vision House.

I left the interview and I knew this was God showing me the way. There was no doubt that Vision House was His choice. But was I going to be obedient to His calling? It was as clear as day. I had a choice to make for me and my baby.

I know now that there will always be struggling, anxiety and guilt for those who choose not to follow the path of the Lord. I know that I have to be accountable for the decisions that I make.

Vision House is a family, a support group, loving people taught me how to make good decisions. They helped me find my self esteem.

I’m married now, have a second child on the way and will move into a new home in a few weeks. My four year old is doing great, happy and healthy and well adjusted. I tell my story to anyone that is having problems like I had. Be obedient and follow the Lord. He is there for you. Listen for His message.

I lost my job the week after 9/11. The phones stopped ringing at the motivational/educational consulting company where I worked. Everyone was laid off.

When my job went away, so did my husband leaving me to care for the two children ages 10 and 8. Unemployment wouldn't even cover the rent.

No one was hiring after 9/11. It was as if time stood still. But the bills just kept piling up.

I felt isolated and alone, depressed and not worthy as a mother. My neighbors would not talk to me any more because I was out of work and they weren't. I was angry with God for letting me get to this point in my life. Suicide sounded like a solution. In fact I was hospitalized because friends thought I might try it.

Vision House saved me. There is no question in my mind about that. Yes, I had medication, but medicine does not take away the "loser" image I had of myself. I thought I was not ok and everybody else was. I felt totally inept about caring for my children. And at this point I didn't care what happened to me.

Vision House showed me that all of us have problems that can be solved. My friends at Vision House shared their situations with me and I saw for the first time that everyone has to deal with many things in their lives. I was not alone and I was not different. I was not judged and I felt accepted.

Anne Snook (Vision House Program Supervisor) helped me learn to plan for myself, my life and constantly encouraged me to work my plan. Anne taught me the importance of doing something nice for me, to understand that I was one of God's beautiful creatures.

I am stronger now because of Vision House. I know what I have to do and I have a plan to make things work for me and my children. Currently I have two jobs and my kids are situated in a home and neighborhood that they love. I am confident that the Lord is looking over me and has been from the beginning. God led me to Vision House.

"Vision House Offered Us a Hand Up" (by Diane)

I used drugs for more than 17 years and for the most part, I got by. I'm a mom and even though I never married, my daughter and I were happy. I had a great job making more than enough to take care of us.

Then I got injured on the job and couldn't work anymore. There was no money to pay rent. No money for food. The company I worked for didn't want to pay for the surgery the doctors said I needed and I couldn't get workers comp because the company was trying to dodge the expenses, using their lawyers to delay things.

I didn't have money for a lawyer and didn't know what to do. So we became homeless. It's almost too much to comprehend when it happens to you. It's almost too much for anyone to bear.

But we found Vision House, or shall I say Vision House found us. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about where we could have been. I finally got the surgery I needed to hold a job, my self-esteem is back and my daughter is in school, doing well and studying to be a chef. I haven't been on drugs for 26 months now and don't think I will ever go back to that life. If I had one wish it would be if homelessness happens to you, that a Vision House be there to offer you a hand up.

"Without a focus for your life, it's easy to lose your way"
(by Paul)

There are no "voc-tech" schools for being a good father and husband. And regardless of how good your parents were at providing for you, they have their own struggles and demons to deal with. I guess after high school I just assumed that if I stayed with my buddies and did what they did, I would be doing what I was supposed to do. Boy was I wrong!

It's not fun being arrested and thrown in jail for 21 days. And it's not fun being sent to mandatory detox for two weeks. Sure I was using heroin when I was busted but all my friends were too. We weren't criminals. We had a rock band and I owned a chimney cleaning business. I was a husband and a dad. We had smoked grass for years. Didn't everybody smoke grass? What's the big deal? We weren't hurting anybody.

My plan was to go through the first time offender program with its one-year of probation and counseling and then get back to business as usual. Come on, I wasn't doing anything wrong except I was the dumb one who got caught. My life was ok before. My wife had thrown me out for smoking pot seven years before my bust and my daughter, who was now 14, could still see me. It's not like I was incarcerated.

So, I did what the state said I had to do and looked for a job right after detox. And looking for a job when you've been busted for heroin use isn't all that pleasant. If self-confidence is important to rehabilitation, then I wouldn't recommend looking for a job when you've been jailed for taking drugs. No one wants you. You are like a leper. It makes you want to run and hide. You just sit there in front of job recruiters and wait for them to get to that part of the application. I cried more than once because this had happened to me. Why me? I would have taken any job just to make the state happy and make the twelve-month probation period get over.

That was three years ago and today, as I tell my story, it doesn't sound like me at all. I got accepted into Vision House and went through their counseling program being administered by John Camerer. Later, Vision House hired me to do some maintenance work. John trusted me and believed in me when so many others hadn't. He really listened to my problems and he prayed for me, for my recovery. He taught me about taking responsibility for my life and helping others.

I paid 30% of my earnings for rent and as time went by, I became a house manager helping out with the other residents who were recovering from alcohol and drug abuse. I also got a part time job with United Airlines and when I was laid off, Vision House hired me full-time. I think the fact that I have a good and improving relationship with my ex-wife and a close relationship with my 18-year-old daughter speaks volumes about the focus I obtained from Vision House. I came for a month or two and stayed for three years. And those three years have made all the difference in my life.